So you have a high school student who is definitely not college-bound. How do you educate him? What does she REALLY need? Are there alternative training options available? I asked myself these same questions not so very long ago. Here is what I discovered…
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College isn’t for everyone, and that’s OK. That became my new mantra. You know what? It really is OK. If you’re in the same boat, don’t row like CrAzY in an attempt to try and motivate your student into following an educational ocean wave when all they really need to do is competently maneuver around the the lake.
Repeat after me…college isn’t for everyone. Excellent.
One of the beauties of homeschooling high schoolers is the freedom it allows for non-traditional students to explore and learn… differently. So where can you find non-traditional learning opportunities? Everywhere.
Volunteer Opportunities
Many homeschool students volunteer. It’s a great way to serve others and learn while doing. And, volunteer opportunities abound–you literally can’t turn around without bumping into the perfect volunteer position. Businesses, non-profits, self-employed entrepreneurs, libraries, farms, fire stations, animal shelters and rescues, and even freelancers are always on the lookout for a little extra help.
My son, Jeremy, had no interest in attending college. When he developed an interest in horses while in high school, we found a wonderful resource in Flint Hill Farm and Educational Center . The owner relies on a large team of volunteers to help with a variety of tasks and chores. Jeremy learned how to properly care for and feed many different farm animals, how to safely handle, wash, and store chicken eggs, and all about daily farm operation. He often showed visitors around the farm and helped to answer their questions. To supplement his new interest, I created several agricultural-related electives. Ah, the beauty of homeschooling!
Volunteering teaches both academic and non-academic skill sets.
Academic skills include:
- Computer proficiency
- Writing
- Public speaking
- Organization
- Training in the trades and subject-specific areas
Non-academic skills may include:
- Time management
- Responsibility
- Tolerance
- Patience
- Social skills
- Accountability
Jobs
What teen doesn’t crave a little extra cash?
A job can serve two purposes–teens can earn a little spending money while also learning the skills necessary to work in a specific field someday. Even being a gofer can lead to a basic understanding of how things are done in a particular business.
Jobs can even develop from volunteer positions. Our daughter, Emily, always loved children. She was a mother’s helper from a young age which led to frequent babysitting jobs. In high school, she volunteered at our church’s preschool, and you guessed it… that eventually led to a teaching position.
Volunteer positions and jobs teach similar skills; however, having a job has an added bonus–an introduction to finances. Your kids will learn all about debit vs credit, taxes, budgeting, and more. If they don’t yet have a savings and/or checking account, now is the perfect time.
When helping your high school student find a job, do your homework and be sure to access and follow the Federal Labor Laws. This may be especially important if your teen is out and about a lot during traditional public school hours and is very visible to the public and non-homeschooling eyes.
Mentoring
Mentoring centers on relationship.
According to Barbara Hettle, a fellow homeschool mom and experienced professional consultant, “Mentors can enrich a student’s academic performance and also provide an important support as students move from adolescence to adulthood.” A mentor can be anyone who shares similar interests with your student.
The beauty of mentoring is that it typically develops naturally as the result of an already established relationship between your student and someone within your community. Interest attracts interest. “Mentors who share subject interest can provide additional depth to homeschooling subjects,” Barbara says.
Apprenticeships
When you think about an apprenticeship, does your mind wander back hundreds of years to colonial days? Apprenticeships have a rich and historic past and still provide excellent learning opportunities for high school homeschoolers today.
Apprenticeships can be paid or unpaid and can be found within a variety of trades and businesses. Two great resources recommended by fellow homeschool mom Susan Raber are the United States Department of Labor Apprenticeships USA and the Vocational Information Center’s Apprenticeship Training Resources page. Susan says that although she didn’t actively seek out apprenticeships for her children, the opportunities came about naturally due to her family’s strong connections within their community.
Creative High School Courses
As you can see, there are plenty of opportunities for non-college bound students to learn and receive training.
Another way to incorporate interest-specific training into your homeschool is through creative course work. This can be in the form of co-op classes, local community college classes, or personalized curriculum that you create for your student. Don’t worry. You don’t need to be an expert in your child’s specific area of interest because there are abundant resources available. Begin at the library and check out books on the subject. Search online–there are often free courses, interactive tutorials, and articles that you can incorporate into your courses. Add a little up close and personal view and seek out someone in the field for your teen to shadow.
Does your son really need to take higher math courses and a complex high school Chemistry course? Absolutely not! Here is an opportunity to get really creative. When my son was in high school, it was clear that he was not college bound. With a little creativity, we mixed several chemistry courses together to create just the right balance for his needs and ability while also doing a lot of kitchen science. He learned the basics and that was sufficient for high school credit.
Are you concerned about your non-college bound high school student? That’s only natural. You’re a homeschool mom, after all. So, take a few deep breaths, grab a nice hot cup of tea, and check out this great resource at LetsHomeschoolHighSchool.com–College Alternatives.
How do you supplement your high school student’s coursework with real world experience? We’d love to know. Please, share your ideas in the comment section below.
Karen Doll
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Hi Tina,
I agree that our language around the default expectations for our graduating teens does matter. You pointed out saying “College isn’t for everyone,” does make it sound “as if college is the preferred end-goal for all and not attending is a sign of some sort of failure.”
I definitely get and agree with what you’re saying, but I’ll add that this can be sort of tricky. I think there are some points when things are changing or need to change that we might need “both/and.” On the one hand, saying “College isn’t for everyone” is reinforcing the norm in the way you’re pointing out. Of course!
On the other hand, I think Karen’s original piece reflects the words many parents may say to themselves in the midst of a highly pressurized college arms race. In other words, they are words many parents may identify with. They’re thinking about their own homeschooled child in the sea of conversations they are hearing about the be-all, end-all of selecting and getting admitted to “the right college.”
Parents sometimes have to grip with their own moment when they realize they’ve always “known” their child would go to college (because it’s the “best” thing), and now it appears this won’t happen. In other words, many people buy into the expectations until those expectations no longer seem like they will work for their child’s individual situation.
“College isn’t for everyone” is such a common search term that it autofills as soon as you start typing it into a browser search bar.
I agree with your sentiment here: “In reality. homeschool parents should be the ones beating the drums of individualization all through high school and into post-secondary endeavors because we are (supposed to be) thinking outside the box by not putting our kids into institutional school.”
However, I see that many people question educational defaults (and other societal defaults) one stage at a time, as those defaults are affecting them personally. They question common birth practices when they’re having babies, common schooling practices when they have school-age children, common expectations for young adults when they have young adults, common societal norms around aging and death when they are getting older. And so on.
There are always folks on the edge or a few steps in front or thinking more globally about how individuals actually are, could be, or should be part of a bigger movement. That’s wise and inspirational and often a catalyst for important action.
Meanwhile, people also need support when they are right at that moment of realization: “Oh here we are with a teen we’ve been thinking would do college as is the societal expectation, and college is not really going to be the best option.”
I love thinking about these kinds of things. When the “expected” is not the optimal for all individuals, the lens of the language we use to discuss it becomes incredibly important, as you so well point out.
Thanks for your comment!
Jeanne
I have seen the tragedy that Robina has seen – i.e., homeschool parents pushing college to the point of idolatry and at their children’s expenses. I even hear that when we say, “College isn’t for everyone,” because that makes it sound as if college is the preferred end-goal for all and not attending is a sign of some sort of failure. In reality. homeschool parents should be the ones beating the drums of individualization all through high school and into post-secondary endeavors because we are (supposed to be) thinking outside the box by not putting our kids into institutional school. I don’t know what it will take to turn this tide but those of us who see the truth – that college isn’t necessary for MOST people to live healthy, productive life and that those who choose to attend are NOT better or smarter – need to shout from the rooftops that our goal as homeschoolers should not be to get our kids into a college but to discover, grow, and maximize – with joy – the real gifts and passions of each individual child, wherever that leads after high school. If enough of us do that, maybe some will actually hear.
Karen,
Thank you for sharing this article.
A few years ago I asked a group of homeschool moms (in our co-op) if they would be disappointed if their children did NOT attend college. They unanimously replied, “Yes!”
It was saddening to think that so many parents (and their children) are locked/brainwashed into the traditional mindset that your child should/MUST cross a stage to receive a diploma in one hand with a packed suitcase in the other…headed for college. Many are entrapped into thinking that college is the end-all/be-all; college is the only way that a person could ‘amount to anything’ or ‘the only way to get a good-paying job.’ So, so, so, so sad.
Age (50’s), experience, the ability to think for myself, life lessons, and examining things with the eyes/mind of Christ has freed me from the traditions of men that keep people in bondage. Praise God for liberty!
So much more that could be said, but I will keep it succinct. The greatest pursuit is that of knowing God, seeking first His Kingdom and His righteousness, seeking Wisdom, and getting knowledge and understanding. Then, we can boldly approach the Throne of Grace to seek the mind of God as to what His plans and calling are for our lives/our children’s lives. The world’s standards, expectations, and traditions DO NOT define who we are in Christ Jesus.Lastly, as believers in this day and age, we REALLY need to be trusting the strong arm of God (translation: live by faith), not in degrees, salaries, and intellectual capacity.
Thank you, Robina 🙂
As homeschool moms, we want the best for our children. We have a stake in their education, and we’re passionate about helping them to succeed, not only in school, but in life as well. So it can be difficult when they’re just not interested in college. We can’t put motivation into them, we can only encourage and help to shape and mold who they are already. It’s wonderful to see so many options for these students. As a mom who raised both a college-bound student and one who was not college- bound, I know there are pros and cons for each path and both my husband and I worked alongside each of our children to help them navigate their chosen path. I think that if we’re willing to allow our children to follow their hearts while also helping them to get the best training possible, we’re giving them a firm foundation to enter the world as a happy and successful adult.
Thanks so much for your kind words. I appreciate that you took the time to respond to my post.
Best wishes 🙂