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Pushed Out: When the School Says to Homeschool


TheHomeSchoolMom Blog: Pushouts - When the school tells you to homeschoolWhat if the school is telling you to homeschool?

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More and more in the homeschool world, we hear from parents whose children have become known as force outs or “push-outs.”

That’s because they are children who did not drop out of school or did not have parents who eagerly chose to homeschool, but who were strongly encouraged to withdraw — pushed out — by school officials. Their parents were not seeking to homeschool, but were pushed to do so, being told that the school cannot meet the child’s needs. Homeschool advocates are taking note of the many stories of kids who are pushed out of school to homeschool.

Homeschooling can be a great way for children to learn, but parents in this situation need to be aware that the local public school is obligated to provide an appropriate education for the child.

Why Kids Are Pushed Out

Children may be pushed out because they have special needs, because they have behavior problems, because they run afoul of zero tolerance policies, because they have attendance problems, because their parents are seen as squeaky wheels, or because they will not perform well on important tests.

There are also cases where students at risk of dropping out have been pushed out, because withdrawing to homeschool does not count against a school’s or state’s drop-out statistics.

In some places, schools have been charged with using truancy laws to push students out, as reported by the National Center for Youth Law (NCYL). The NCYL said of some Texas school districts, “Students are being pushed out in various ways including being forced into GED programs, alternative schools, and being coerced into mandatory homeschooling.” (italics/bold is my emphasis)

The School/Teacher May Be Trying to Help Your Child

Now this is tricky to talk about because it can have some pretty subtle aspects. First, the educators may be telling you this in all sincerity and with your child’s best interests in mind. They may know that there is realistically no way that your child’s needs are going to be met with the resources present in their school or school division, and they may authentically feel that the child will be spinning wheels and that the system will never be able to gear up to provide the kind of attention and instruction that would help the student thrive.

Teachers and administrators may even be speaking to you personally, as a kindness, quietly assessing that your child’s needs are not going to be met in the place where they work. While individual teachers and administrators may have every child’s best interests at heart, the system may not be adequately funded to meet all the competing needs — or it may be that the institution of school itself just is not designed to do so effectively. However, public education is supposed to work for all kids. Your child, like all children in the United States, is entitled to a free and appropriate public education financed by taxes.

The School May Be Trying to Protect Itself

In some cases, schools are shirking their duty to provide that education — because of course it is better in some ways for the school if they do not have to provide help to children who have more challenges. Children who are behind or have special needs cost more to educate, require more resources, and may hurt performance measures by which educators and schools are judged.

I wish I could say this were not true, but some communities have quite a few such children who have been “pushed out.” Again, this is tricky to talk about, because in some cases, parents who could become well-prepared to homeschool have made good choices to remove their children from school, and the child is recovering from problems in school and learning a lot through homeschooling. In other cases, parents who are not really in a position to homeschool are floundering, and their children may not be better off if they are at least not well cared for.

The Parents Would Need to Commit to Homeschooling

What do I mean by “parents who are not really in a position to homeschool”? I mean parents who are new to homeschooling but not able to make a commitment to be present for their children due to work, financial responsibilities, mental health issues of their own, medical crises, relationship issues, or other problems. People who have been homeschooling a long time often have enough roots in “the homeschooling community” and can figure out how to make things work when they are in some kind of crisis. However, for new parents whose kids were basically pushed out of the school system, it can be difficult to make the transition to homeschooling if you are struggling in other ways and don’t have support.

It’s not impossible. People from all walks of life and with all kinds of challenges can and do make homeschooling work. You can be one of them. But sometimes children who are pushed out of school and into homeschooling end up in situations where parents are unable to spend time with their children due to work and financial obligations, where parents are unable to understand how to get books and resources to help their children learn, or where parents have mental health or physical health problems that prevent them from making their children’s education and care a priority.

Homeschool communities are often ill-suited to deal with “push-outs.” For example, homeschooling co-ops (learning cooperatives) may be intended just to supplement learning done at home, but new homeschooling parents whose kids have been “pushed out” don’t realize this and don’t have a plan for meeting their kids’ learning needs otherwise.

The Parents Must Realize That Support May Be Limited

New homeschooling parents with “pushed out” kids may look for resources in homeschool groups and co-ops that simply don’t exist. Accustomed to school and its many services, they struggle with the fact that they themselves have the sole responsibility for their child’s education. They may even find themselves unwelcome in some homeschool groups and circles because they frustrate other parents by requesting “services” that do not and cannot exist in an all-volunteer situation, where parents are accepting responsibility for 100 percent of their own children’s education. They may not get the kind of parental “shepherding” that is expected for children who are participating in homeschool activities.

I don’t mean to discourage anyone who is feeling pushed to homeschool by school administrators.

But please — have your eyes wide open.

You don’t have to be a perfect parent or have all your problems solved to homeschool by any means — anyone with commitment can homeschool — but —

Are you in a position to take on this responsibility? Do you have support from family or friends who will help you? Can you learn about educational resources that will help your child? Can you spend first-hand time with your child? Are you motivated to homeschool when that was never part of your expectation?

And are you ready to let the school division off the hook?

The Parents May Find That Homeschool Is the Right Choice

The answer for many parents is yes.

They are tired of struggling with a school division that has delayed and delayed offering appropriate help, or that has not been compliant in following an educational plan that has been agreed upon for a child. Or maybe the school is compliant with the plan, but the interventions and services that are supposed to help are not working. While they would like to see their child get an appropriate education at school, as parents, they cannot wait any longer to see if that will happen. Months and years are ticking away.

They say yes. My child might be being pushed out of school, but I’m up for it. I have the ability to see that my child learns, and I am committed to making it a priority. I understand that things in “the homeschool world” are going to be different from school and might not work like I expect, but I’m willing to learn and roll with it. I have my problems like everybody else, but my head is above water enough that I can handle this.

They say — it can’t get any worse for my child than his or her current experience in school.

If you are ready to say yes to this, then you are ready to look at homeschooling. But I want to be clear that school authorities cannot direct you to withdraw your child from school in order to homeschool, and you should not feel intimidated into making a decision you do not feel confident about.

If you decide to keep your child in school, you may need to find school-related advocates or resources to help get your child’s needs met. For example, many parents have used the resources at Wrightslaw to learn more about how to advocate for their children who have special needs.

When you don’t have to spend time and energy fighting "the system" of school that did not work for your child, you can spend that time and energy helping your child. ~ Jeanne FaulconerOn the flip side, there are many happy and effective homeschooling parents today who came to homeschooling because schools were unable to meet their children’s needs. Some of these children were “behind” in school, some were “advanced,” some have unusual interests, and some have special needs. In thousands of families in the U.S. and around the world, their parents have created a more effective education than the children were receiving in school. Frankly, this is why some teachers and administrators have begun to see it — personally — as a realistic option.

What can start out as frightening and something you never intended to do, can turn out to be homeschooling that is not a last resort.

When you don’t have to spend time and energy fighting “the system” of school that did not work for your child, you can spend that time and energy helping your child.

I know story after story of amazing progress of children who were withdrawn from school to homeschool, especially children who are diagnosed or labeled with ADD/ADHD.

Homeschoolers have a wide variety of attitudes toward public schools (see “Do Homeschoolers Hate Public Schools?“), but many understand that children who are encouraged to leave school may have social, emotional, and academic issues that homeschooling can help.

Consider homeschooling as one way to approach problems your child is having at school, but don’t be pushed against your will.

Jeanne Faulconer

A popular speaker at homeschooling conferences, business groups, and parents’ groups, Jeanne Potts Faulconer homeschooled her three sons in North Carolina, Mississippi, and Virginia for twenty years. Jeanne is director of Brave Writer's Homeschool Alliance, which provides homeschool coaching, community, and "grad school for homeschool" for parents. She is the contributing editor for TheHomeSchoolMom newsletter and writes the popular Ask Jeanne column, addressing homeschool parents' questions here at TheHomeSchoolMom. She is a former college faculty member, former editor and book reviewer for Home Education Magazine, a long-time editor for VaHomeschoolers Voice, and a news correspondent for WCVE, an NPR-member station. Holding her Master of Arts degree in Communication, Jeanne has conducted portfolio evaluations for Virginia homeschoolers for evidence of progress for many years.

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  1. Fay

    I had to pull my son out of private school for anxiety reasons, and because I work full-time as a teacher I have not done well creating or maintaining an academically rigorous program. Now my son thinks he would like to integrate himself back into the school system, but 8 dint have any real records to back him up. He’s supposed to be a junior currently, and he’s now interested in going to college when the time comes.
    What can I do to create some kind of homeschool transcript? How can I make it work for hm and the school? I want h8m to feel like it is manageable Md not a repeat of previous anxiety.

    • Hi Fay,

      In many states, the best time for kids to return to school as teens is 9th grade (or before). That’s because in those states, schools do not have to award credit for learning done at home, and teens may have to actually start over with 9th grade work once they enroll in the school system.

      Because this varies state-to-state, and sometimes school-to-school, your best bet is to find homeschooler in your area who have navigated this same path. You may also want to contact the school as early as possible to ask them what documents they need – and what their placement policies are.

      Sometimes teens who find they will have to “start over” with 9th grade even though they would be upperclassmen decide to continue homeschooling, perhaps adding community college classes or attending public high school part-time (where that is allowed; it varies from state-to-state).

      In addition to transcripts, some schools may require end-of-course testing or other methods of evaluation for grade placement.

      Your local school may just go ahead and give him credit for work done at home and place him as a junior if you can provide that transcript, but I urge you to talk to them to find out what more they may require, so you can see if your son is up for that.

      Read more about enrolling your child in school in this article, “When Your Child Goes from Homeschooling to Public School.”

      You may want to use this Digital Homeschool Planner to create a transcript that will track what your child has learned so far, though it’s sometimes harder to re-create records from memory.

      Good wishes to your son on managing his anxiety. There are many homeschooled kids who first became homeschoolers as a result of this challenge. Some become lifelong homeschoolers while others return to school.


  2. Clarissa

    I have a child who is 7 years old. He was recently diagnosed with ADD/ADHD combined type. We have been going through a process all year long to get him diagnosed and treatment for everything that he has going on.. He is currently in a public school and they have suspended him time after time for anything and everything… He was recently placed out of the classroom for 4 weeks and no explanation of why.. Only that an incident had occurred and that I would be given a report… 4 weeks later still no report. I then went to the superintendent who saw me for about 10 minutes and was quick to shove me out the door, said she would call me to set up a meeting after she “researched the matter further” and still nothing… Today my son was suspend from school for 5 days for pushing a teacher for taking away his snack from him. Now I know this is not ok but come on… I know he needs certain help which is what I am trying to do (through the school) but I feel like they are purposely doing this to my child to not have to deal with him.. I am at the end of my rope and am seriously considering homeschooling although, I feel like this isn’t right for the school to get away with so easily… I need help… I’ve read on my child’s rights and I feel like they are being violated… I recently called the state board of education because I feel like I can’t advocate for my child on my own… Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, I’m desperate to help my son.

    • HI Clarissa,

      I am more knowledgeable about homeschooling than about keeping a child in school and advocating for his special needs to be met; however, I’m told that the resources at the Wrightslaw page are valuable for understanding your child’s right to be educated and how to work with the school. I urge you to use that website

      Keep in mind that your state board of education may be more likely to be an agency of the school’s “side” of things rather than the child’s “side.” I hate to put it in terms of “sides,” but it’s important to understand that many school divisions use their state education agencies for guidance and policies, so they may not be a best resource for parents. There can be exceptions to this if a state agency has a strong part of its mission as helping schools “do the right thing” by children who have special needs.

      While considering homeschooling, you may want to read my article “Will Homeschooling Help ADD/ADHD?”

      While it does sound like there are or may be behavior problems that are unacceptable, as a parent, I do not find it reasonable for you to be unable to get a report about these problems. When there are problems, you should be able to find out what happened and how things were addressed so you can help your child learn. To place a child “outside the classroom for four weeks with no explanation of why” and no report when requested is not ok, if this is what happened in your child’s situation.

      Schools are really stretched on thin resources these days. I do not necessarily think that there is always negative intent, but I think that “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” It takes a LOT of effort to squeak loud enough to get the needed attention for your child, and if your child’s behavior has been in question, frequently the “blame,” rightly or wrongly, comes back on the child, and sometimes without a positive plan for how to help him IMPROVE, which should be the point of things.

      Consider proceeding on two tracks at once — both advocating for your child in school and considering whether or how you could homeschool. As you are learning more about your child’s right to an education in public school, you also look into what it takes to homeschool and if that might be a productive route.

      It is indeed difficult to decide whether opting out of school allows the school not to educate and help a more challenging child (lets them “off the hook,” so to speak) or whether it is just more realistic and practical on a parent’s part. Homeschooling takes commitment, but so does advocating for a child in school. I recommend you find support for exploring both paths, perhaps seeking out local and regional folks who homeschool and who work with children in school.

      Additionally, it may be wise to think about whether your child’s challenging behavior occurs only in the school setting or also in other settings. Creating situations outside of school that are less likely to stimulate this behavior would be wise (and is one of the advantages of homeschooling), but a third thing you may need to explore is how to parent and help your child with behavior or other problems that are cropping up when he is “in trouble” at school. Sometimes these things do simply “go away” when homeschooling or just outside of school, if a child is simply stressed by the school setting or the length of the school day or certain teaching styles. However, often a child who is vulnerable to these things also needs a different approach to parenting or needs to learn specific coping skills and appropriate behaviors.

      You will find some more explanation about that in the ADHD article I gave you the link for.

      Good luck.

    • Diana

      Wow, this sounds just like what I’m going through right now with my son. The school here in NC I feel has also failed my son. I feel they antagonize him enough to make him act out so they can suspend him. I hope you have things figured out for your child. I’m still trying to figure it out. If you have any suggestions I would appreciate greatly. I’m thinking of home school also but would have to work a different shift to be able to do it.

      • Hi Diana,

        The cycle of misbehavior and suspension can really become a problem. Often, kids need more support for learning how to behave in a school environment, but schools don’t have the resources to provide that, so the cycle perpetuates itself.

        Many people do choose to homeschool when this cycle goes on and on. Arranging work around homeschooling can be a challenge. Look for articles about working and homeschooling.

        Just remember that a child who acts out at school may also need a lot of support for learning at home as well.

        I wish you the best in thinking it through.


  3. khat

    Excellent article; I have heard of special-needs children being forced out and parents frantically trying to figure out how to homeschool. No parents should be forced to homeschool…

    • Cheryl West

      I have a 10th grader who has always scored in the above 95th percentile on standardized test, GPA was 3.6 but he did not function well in all of the chaos and noise and lack of structure in the class room and began having severe panic attacks. Rather than try to make in-school accomodations for him, he was quickly Pushed Out. We tried GA Virtual School but this is very overwhelming and did not have much luck. We are now going to Home School for his Junior and Senior years and really looking forward to it. I am still in the research phase so any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

      • Cheryl I would strongly recommend you read the articles here at THSM on deschooling. Even with a tenth grader, these are important concepts. They are particularly important for a young person who is having panic attacks. Virtual schools, especially those that are essentially run BY school divisions, often do not offer enough “difference” from the school situation that was a part of the problem in the first place. Consider how your child can learn in ways that don’t create the same tension and anxiety. With standardized test scores and grades that high, your child sounds pretty traditionally academic and is probably a good reader and writer. I’d give him some time off with the novels or nonfiction that he likes and try to help him find a project to do related to one of his interests. It could be a volunteer project, something to build or make, something he’d like to learn about, something entrepreneurial, or something else. Help him get in touch with himself rather than feeling like he’ tossing around in the ocean that school was for him. Good luck.

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